A meeting with the senator - the detailed report

Well I wanted to add something positive to this blog, as I feel like so much of it has been negative.  As I have mentioned, healing is lifelong process.  BUT...  Just because I work on myself on a daily basis does not mean I am a depressed person.  In fact - I am probably one of the most happy and positive people you could ever meet, and until you sat down to get to know me you would not know I have been through so many traumas in life.  I do not let anything get me down too bad.  I have drive and determination like you couldn't imagine.


So one of my biggest goals in life is to turn all of my negative experiences into something positive.  I finally was blessed with an amazing opportunity to do so.  After working with Advocates for Victims of Assault for three years my advocate decided I was far enough along in my healing process to be connected with the Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CASA).  Last month I received an e-mail regarding a bill that was about to go through the political process of being approved (it goes through House first, then Senate, then on to the Governer to be signed or vetod).


The bill is in regards to Sexual Offender Management Board (SOMB).  Basically this bill was in place in my state for awhile.  It expired two years ago.  It is all about sexual offender management/assesment/treatment.  It is INCREDIBLY important.  Survivors of sexual assault truly depend on the justice system to help them out.  Justice is ALREADY hard enough to be served in sexual assault cases, so management of sexual offenders is even more important.  The bill got vetod by the governer after being approved by House and Senate last year due to some controversial language in it.  Many organizations spent all year long rewriting this bill to hopefully accomodate to what needed to be changed.  If the bill does not pass this year, then  20 years of work goes down the drain because the bill will NEVER be able to come back again.  (Once a bill is vetod twice it cannot become a bill ever again)


So CASA realizes the importance of reaching out to our state senators and house representatives to let them know how important passing this bill is, and why it is so important to pass.  So I e-mailed my district senator (actually someone I voted for!!!) and asked to set up a meeting with her to discuss this bill.  And to my amazement, she responded and a meeting was set up for yesterday.


I was incredibly nervous, as I have never been too political in my lifetime, and the prospect of having a one-on-one meeting with a senator and explaining to her that I am a sexual assault survivor is terrifying...  But regardless, I want to make a difference and have my voice heard, and this seems to be a good way of going about it.


I got down to the city and went to the CASA office for my first time.  Got to meet their staff and some of the other volunteers.  They set me up with an amazing volunteer who has done more work for them so I had a little support system with me and did not go into the situation blindly.  We then walked over to the capital building and met up with a CASA lobbyist (who also happened to have the same name as one of my warrior sisters) who was also joining us.  We truly were the perfect threesome...


So my lobbyist knew the meeting was going to be a little late, as the senate was in a meeting fighting about budget.  We went up and witnessed the end of the meeting, which was an experience in itself.  I thought I could talk fast :), but the guy speaking in the senate probably spoke 50 wpm (and it was so fast probably way more than 50), SERIOUSLY.  So this was my first time witnessing the political process, and it was just really cool to see.


After the meeting was over the three of us met my senator and went up to her private office.  First the lobbyist talked about the actual bill, what happened with it last year, and the changes they made to it for this year.  I was glad she was there to give that info, as I would not have been able to explain it nearly as good as she did.


Then it was my turn to talk...  I introduced myself as a thirty year old native of this state. I thanked the senator for taking time out of her day, and let her know how amazing it was to have an opportunity to have a voice, especially after being silenced for so long.  She smiled at me, and I knew she actually cared about me and what I had to say, and that fueled the fire!!!


I let her know that I was sexually assaulted when I was fifteen.  I did not go into any details, as I did not necessarily think the details were of importance.  I let her know how badly justice failed me back then, and how survivors completely depend on the justice system.  I explained that it was already hard enough to get justice served, because essentially when it comes down to it, it is a he said she said thing, and unless someone was there witnessing the act, there is no way to determine the ENTIRE truth...  (Unfortunately there is a small percentage of people that report for revenge, and that has made it so hard for real cases to get justice served).  So we talked about that for awhile, meanwhile the other volunteer chimed in intermittently.


Then the senator let us know she had met with the opposition recently.  A group called Advocates For Change, which is basically full of offenders and their family members.  The opposition had talked about how their sons/husbands/or whomevers lives were ruined because of one "mistake."  They gave a sob story on how because of that one mistake they would have to work on themselves for the rest of their lives (by court order for counseling/treatment/etc.).  Hearing that made me truly sick.


So I look at the senator and say, I understand where they are coming from with that statement, but honestly I do not think the offenders realize what their victims go through because of the experience.  It is a lifelong experience.  I told her how I suffer from PTSD, flashbacks, nightmares, depression, anxiety, trust issues, etc.  I told her how I have been to counseling for fifteen years now, and still need to continue.  I told her how fortunate I am to have access to free counseling and such, but there are so many other people out there who DON'T...  Those people need as much help as they can get.  I then told her about my adult sexual assault, which also went into investigation only to be closed due to lack of evidence.  I told her how my police officer did some research and found my rapist was convicted back in 1994 for another rape (he raped me in 2006).  If there had been the management and treatment in effect he probably would not have reoffended to me, or a few other people who came forward about him and ended up dropping their cases as well.  The entire time I was saying these things the senator was actually LISTENING to me, and understanding what I was trying to get out.


Talk about some empowerment.  Our meeting ended, and I got congratulated by the senator for experiencing what I have in life and coming out on top.  Having someone in "power" say that to you is amazing, a complete, well-deserved ego booster.


So I thought that was it for my day, and myself and my two counteparts talked about how successful that meeting was, and how great we all did!  I was floating in cloud nine, my voice was heard, the day was successful!


We were walking out and my lobbyist noticed a House representative walking around, and recruited her asking if she had some time to talk.  She said she had a meeting in fifteen minutes and she would love to talk.  So we literally sat in the hallway of the capital building and had a meeting, the lobbyist had to leave so it was just me and the other volunteer.  This meeting was a little more intimidating, as this representative was not nearly as personable as the senator.  We just basically explained the bill, what happened last year with it, and what changed this year.  Then  I again got to inform a politician that I was a sexual assault survivor and we depend on the system to help.  As much as she wasn't personable, she did listen, and that's what counts!!! 

So yeah, I made some positive out of the negative.  It was and still is an amazing feeling.  Now I am preparing for my testimony for when the bill goes in front of the House.  I am also setting up more meetings with senators and house representatives before the big bill day.  It feels great to have a voice again, and it's not just my voice, I am speaking for so many others.  I truly have found my calling in life, and I know between the psychology side of my work and working with victims, and the other side of working the political system I will make a difference and touch so many along the way!  I am no longer silenced, and for me that is the most amazing thing EVER!!!


And the great thing is...  THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!