A small glimpse

Originally written 2007:
For many years I lived life running away from what seemed to terrify me the most.  INstead of trying to have a boyfriend like most teenage girls do, I tried to have as many flings as humanly possible.  I let supposed friends abuse me in ways unfathomable.  I pushed all my feelings under the carpet and pretended like my life was the perfect rebellious life, and that was exactly how I wanted it to be.  I was raped at the age of 15 by three guys that I had been hanging out with.  They drugged me up to the point where I had absolutely no idea what was going on, and then they took me in a room and had their way with me one by one.  A month after this happened I realized what I was doing to myself, and tried to go to my friends and family for help and justice.  Unfortunately my parents were too wrapped up in their own life to help their daughter get through the hard times, and turn back into the person they knew she was.  I dealt with a corrupt police officer, who was actually fired months after he dealt with me for mishandling too many cases.  He made everyone think I had lied about what happened to me.  Which I will admit, I wasn't 100% honest with the exact situation, but I was a 15 year old that got thrown into one of those scary rooms with a male police officer all by myself, asking me to give every detail.  I was scared and I just wanted someone to be there with me and help me be strong.  So after the case was dismissed for my "lies," the rape was shoved under the carpet and everyone pretended like it never happened.  At this point I hated everyone.  I hated my parents for not being there, I hated my friends for not helping me after I had helped them through so much, I hated the cops for being dirty and not being more sensitive to a scared shitless teen, and most of all I hated guys for treating women the way they did and acting in that manner of desperation.  Instead of punishing everyone else, I punished myself.  I stopped doing good in school, I got into drugs, I became incredibly promiscuis, and I basically did everything I was not supposed to do.